I should confess something to you. October isn’t my favourite month. It’s the month my Mum died and each year it affects me in a different way. This year I have the added pressure of dealing with stuff to do with my Dad too – well at least I believe he’s my Dad. You see, two years ago I found out that this guy may be my Dad… the only problem being that he’d died the year earlier. For a number of reasons we’re only just getting round the the DNA test and the results will arrive this month, possibly around what would have been my Mum’s birthday. As you’d expect… I don’t feel to great about all of this – I don’t really talk about it. I can write about it… but I don’t want to talk about it. And I can’t see myself wanting to talk about the results, either way. I’m weird like that – I suppose that’s why I blog!?
As a result of all this my back is twisted and knotted with stress and tension, and I couldn’t give a damn about food. Tonight I can’t get enthused about finding something to eat because, quite frankly, I’m frying some bigger fish right now. I mean – how is it possible for one personal to deal with all that?! I think I’ve hit a bit of a breaking point tonight… time to take it easy for a while I think.
If you’re too distracted to eat and can’t bring yourself to even think about making food – you’re not alone. I can get like that sometimes too :'(.
Hayley Jayne xx