And so my run of bad luck continues. After last week’s terrible ordeal with the whole bad-day-falling-on-my-face-phone-smashing incident, you’d think things would pick up. Oh no. It just keeps getting worse. I literally have the worst luck in the World when it comes to life… Everyday for the past few weeks I’ve wanted to walk to the top of a hill and scream, because something somewhere in my life has gone a bit wrong. I’m trying to stay positive, I really am. But when your bank account’s dwindling, you’re unhappy with elements of your life that are impossible to fix, people you love keep getting sick/dying and you want to see your parents… but they’re both, well a bit dead really… fuck me, but that’s tough going. I’m 23 and I feel like I have the weight of the World on my shoulders. If only I could begin to explain how royally messed up and complex my life is at the moment… well, I’d be a lot better for it!
In the past week I have three panic attacks, two of them at work. I’ve cried on my way home from work two out of five nights and I’m losing weight, even though I’m stuffing my face with chocolate and naughty feel-good treats (or so people keep telling me). If it wasn’t for Dan being on the other end of the phone when I need him, I’d be a constant blubbering mess. I can’t take it anymore! One more bad bit of news and I’m half tempted to pack my bags and fly off somewhere hot for a while (providing I can sell enough stuff to purchase a one-way ticket).
You see, I believe in karma. I believe that all this bad luck is paving the way for something spectacular to happen… Come on karma, it’s my turn to experience something magical now! I’m a tough cookie and I’ll take on whatever life throws at me… but it needs to throw some good stuff my way every once in a while too.
In the meantime, while I’m feeling down and upset – I’ll drown my sorrows in salt and pepper chips, followed by copious amounts of chocolate.
Sorry it’s not my usual foodie post – I’m just not in a foodie frame of mind today! If you spot the karma police while you’re out and about, send them my way will you. I’m waiting for them.
Hayley Jayne xx